I'm torn

As I said previoiusly my son and his family

are going to live with us which hopefully

will be just a short while. Yes, I said a short

while. something I never dreamed I

would ever say about one of my kids.

But this certain 'kid' , 36 yr.old kid,

has had a pretty terrible history of his

own making.

I used to feel so guilty for all of his

problems. If I only would have done

this, or that, or the other. But over

the years I have come to realize

I did all I could as a mother. I tried

to guide him, to teach him right

and wrong. That there were consequences for his actions.

Love him unconditionally and help him when he

needed help.

He made some very bad choices many times.

I was always there for him in one way or another.

So when do you as a parent say I'm tired?

Do you keep bailing them out at any age?

I really don't know if I can do this. My health

is not the best and I'm already stressing.

Its so difficult.

People who are close to us say oh its such

a wonderful thing to open your home. Your

warm loving people....giving. Well,

I do not feel it anymore with this kid. I feel

as we are again being used. When I showed

him the room they would be staying in,

which is now my sewing room, and all that

I had to pack up and store, I didn't even

get a 'we appreciate you doing this', or

I'm sorry you have to move this. Or ANYTHING.

They just looked in the room and said

ok. I don't get it.

I can't even pray I'm so upset. I know I

should, I would feel better. I guess I'm

to deep in my own little pity party.

My husband has worked hard to give us

this life we have. Its a simple life. We

have a nice little home. We are very

careful with our money so we can

take the occassional trip to visit kids,

or a weekend for ourselves. Am I

wrong to be hurt they don't care they

are disrupting our lives without a

second thought?

I know I am whining, but I had to get this

out. Put my thoughts down and be

able to read them to see if I am just

over reacting. So why did we say ok

come stay here. They had a 4 yr

old with them. Which makes it even

harder. Heck, mama hasn't even called

him in the 2 days they have been gone.

I know God never gives us more than

we can handle. What is he teaching me

with this one though?

I'm thankful for Bob's strength

I love lays potato chips

I'm thankful for the bright sun today

I love Bob's quickly growing cucumbers!

I love warm tomatoes off the vines

I'm thankful for my life

I love hearing the laughter of a toddler